http://becomingastepmom.wordpress.com/2008/12/02/smackdown-for-stepmoms-visualize-your-ideal-stepfamily/ Advice. Education. Support. Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:44:04 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 http://becomingastepmom.wordpress.com/2008/12/02/smackdown-for-stepmoms-visualize-your-ideal-stepfamily/#comment-36 Jacque Wed, 10 Dec 2008 18:50:47 +0000 http://becomingastepmom.wordpress.com/?p=361#comment-36 Thank you gals! I have used visioning techniques for all areas of my life and I have to say it has worked for me. For those of you who have never done it before, the science behind it is really interesting. Basically, it turns on the reticular activating system in your brain. That's the part that is constantly scanning our environment and tuning out the things we don't need and drawing our attention to the things we do need. You know if you decide to buy a red car, suddenly you see every single red car on the road when you didn't before? That's the reticular activing system in your brain at work. Thank you gals! I have used visioning techniques for all areas of my life and I have to say it has worked for me. For those of you who have never done it before, the science behind it is really interesting. Basically, it turns on the reticular activating system in your brain. That’s the part that is constantly scanning our environment and tuning out the things we don’t need and drawing our attention to the things we do need. You know if you decide to buy a red car, suddenly you see every single red car on the road when you didn’t before? That’s the reticular activing system in your brain at work.

]]> http://becomingastepmom.wordpress.com/2008/12/02/smackdown-for-stepmoms-visualize-your-ideal-stepfamily/#comment-32 Carrie Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:43:18 +0000 http://becomingastepmom.wordpress.com/?p=361#comment-32 My stepson came into my life when he was 8 years old and he's now 21. And I can honestly say that I now look forward to his visits. But geez, it was a long time comin'. My advice? Always be yourself, don't sugar-coat your personality for the kid(s). But also, don't 'blow it'. By this I mean to avoid any super angry confrontations that could spoil the relationship permanently. Leave the room, take a walk, go visit a supportive girlfriend. And always keep the goal in mind: A great marriage. My stepson came into my life when he was 8 years old and he’s now 21. And I can honestly say that I now look forward to his visits. But geez, it was a long time comin’. My advice? Always be yourself, don’t sugar-coat your personality for the kid(s). But also, don’t ‘blow it’. By this I mean to avoid any super angry confrontations that could spoil the relationship permanently. Leave the room, take a walk, go visit a supportive girlfriend. And always keep the goal in mind: A great marriage.

]]> http://becomingastepmom.wordpress.com/2008/12/02/smackdown-for-stepmoms-visualize-your-ideal-stepfamily/#comment-31 Crys Wed, 03 Dec 2008 01:50:26 +0000 http://becomingastepmom.wordpress.com/?p=361#comment-31 I've used a lot of meditation techniques through my adult life to help me focus, calm down and re-energize. Thank you for another method to try out. I’ve used a lot of meditation techniques through my adult life to help me focus, calm down and re-energize. Thank you for another method to try out.

]]> http://becomingastepmom.wordpress.com/2008/12/02/smackdown-for-stepmoms-visualize-your-ideal-stepfamily/#comment-30 The DHX: The Doughtie Houses Exchange » Blog Archive » Links for Tuesday, December 2 Tue, 02 Dec 2008 23:31:46 +0000 http://becomingastepmom.wordpress.com/?p=361#comment-30 [...] Becoming a Stepmom: Smackdown for Stepmoms: Visualize Your Ideal Stepfamily [...] [...] Becoming a Stepmom: Smackdown for Stepmoms: Visualize Your Ideal Stepfamily [...]

]]> http://becomingastepmom.wordpress.com/2008/12/02/smackdown-for-stepmoms-visualize-your-ideal-stepfamily/#comment-29 Jill Tue, 02 Dec 2008 23:27:53 +0000 http://becomingastepmom.wordpress.com/?p=361#comment-29 This really works. I did this early on when Kathy (the kids' mom) and I were having trouble, and now, a few years later, we have an amazing relationship. Thinking about what I wanted -- what I really, really wanted instead of what I didn't want -- got me opened up to opportunities that presented themselves that I might not have seen otherwise, and it got me thinking more creatively and less defensively and obsessively. This really works. I did this early on when Kathy (the kids’ mom) and I were having trouble, and now, a few years later, we have an amazing relationship. Thinking about what I wanted — what I really, really wanted instead of what I didn’t want — got me opened up to opportunities that presented themselves that I might not have seen otherwise, and it got me thinking more creatively and less defensively and obsessively.

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