**Winner: 2009 Gold Recipient of the Mom’s Choice Award
**Winner of a 2008 iParenting Media Excellence Award
You’re a single woman who has it all… A wonderful apartment. A successful career. Fun friends and a fabulous social life. Now you’ve just fallen in love with the man of your dreams – and he has kids! Do you leave your Sex in the City cosmopolitan life and become a soccer stepmom?
Whether you’ve already moved in with your partner and his kids or are considering it,
A Career Girl’s Guide to Becoming a Stepmom can help you answer questions including:
- Will I have to sacrifice my career?
- How do I build a strong relationship when there are kids around?
- Will I have any privacy?
- How do I deal with the ex when she’s also Mommy?
What People Are Saying
“Fletcher’s excellent what-to-expect guide is perfect for women who were single with no kids before they married into stepchildren. Anecdotes and snippets from stepfamily experts are conversational yet illuminating.” – Douglas C. Lord, Library Journal
“Wow! I was literally sitting at home yesterday, having a pity party about my difficulties as a stepmom, when through my tears, I remembered getting A Career Girl’s Guide to becoming a Stepmom at the library. I decided to flip through it to find words of encouragement and read the entire thing in one day! This book seemed to have been written for me: no children of my own, a career woman, dating a wonderful man with a young daughter. I love how Fletcher validates how hard it is to co-parent someone else’s child yet doesn’t let you wallow in negativity. I was inspired and motivated and highly, HIGHLY recommend this book.”- -Amazon.com reviewer
“This is a positive straight-forward handbook and a must-have for any woman contemplating marrying or dating a man with kids. There are so few GOOD and empowering books written for single women and this is it. I bought this book and gave it to my girlfriend who is also dating a single dad after I read it. I’ve logged on to buy another copy for myself!” -Amazon.com reviewer
“I am not a stepmom or a stepdaughter but my best friend is both, and I wish I had had this book when she met the man she would marry — the man with the kids from the previous marriage. There was no way for me to understand the kinds of issues she faced as they courted and got married and built their new family; this book makes it all so clear. It’s very insightful and reassuring without sugarcoating any of the rough stuff, and it gives the reader a good set of tools to help you be really proactive in your relationships. It really is a wonderful guide.” -Amazon.com reviewer
“I read your book last week and felt like I was reading something that FINALLY understood that my biggest concern about having a stepchild isn’t, “Oh don’t worry – I’m sure he’ll like you.” I could scream if I hear that once more! I’m scared about my world shifting because I’ve fallen in love with a man who made choices years ago that effect me now. That at 26 I am taking on a life I didn’t see for myself for another 10 years … Your book came at a great time for me – thank you for writing it.” – Ashley, 26
“As a second grade teacher I thought I would be ahead of the game because I had years of training dealing with children. But I found out even my experience with kids wasn’t enough. I was not ready for the emotional roller coaster that preparing to become a stepmother takes you on. Thankfully, I had Jacquelyn’s book to guide the way. As I read her book, it allowed me to recognize what I was feeling and gave me the tools to deal with those feelings. She let me know that it’s normal to feel like an outsider at times. She taught me how to not take it personally when my stepson does something that hurts my feelings. And most importantly, she reminded me to focus on the joyful times our family has together. Jacquelyn’s book also gave my fiancé, future stepson and I some wonderful questions to ask each other at the end of each chapter. By taking time to answer the discussion questions we learned a lot about each other. The conversations brought us closer together and helped strengthen our family. I would recommend this book to all women dating guys with kids and stepmothers.” – Deanna, 34
“In my professional life as a family scientist and stepfamily researcher, and in my personal life as a stepfamily member, I have had the opportunity to review many and varied forms of resources. Jacquelyn Fletcher’s book is utterly unique – and necessary … The approach she takes is absolutely unprecedented. She combines real women’s experiences, research information, and a businesswoman’s framework in order to provide a strategy-focused approach to building a loving, nurturing marriage and stepfamily. Jacque brings research-validated information to life through her own stories and the stories of the wonderful women you will read about. In doing so, she also fills in the gaps on yet to be discovered research information. What she taps so well are the identity issues that single, childfree, career women turned stepmoms wrestle with. We have not yet begun to tap this through formal research. Her and her group of experts’ insights are powerful, touching, and enlightening.”
– Francesca Adler-Baeder, Ph.D., Executive Director, The National Stepfamily Resource Center Director, Center for Children, Youth, and Family Department of Human Development and Family Studies, Auburn University, Alabama
“What a gem! This is a book that every woman in love with a man who has kids, and every therapist, relationship educator or coach should read. In a voice rich with journalistic smarts and stories, a tell-it-like-it-is approach, and a heart infused with compassion and hope wrought from personal experience, Jacquelyn Fletcher shows women – and the men they love – how to draw on their career know-how as they face family dynamics. She cuts through the issues and turns obstacles on their heads – empowering women with information. Then she reminds them to use the leadership skills and creativity that has advanced their career to partner with their man and to create the kind of stepfamily and life they most desire.”
– Jan Hoistad, Ph.D., L.P., author of Big Picture Partnering: 16 Weeks to a Rock-Solid Relationship and Living Your Dreams Together: Conversation Cards for Couples
“Jacquelyn Fletcher’s blend of practical, concrete suggestions combined with strategies for nurturing and confronting the monumental emotional aspects of becoming a stepmother creates an indispensable guide for women and their families. Ultimately, this book shows us how to break through the challenges and have the kind of family we’re all longing for.”
– Anne O’Connor, author of The Truth About Stepfamilies
“I tore through your book over the last two nights-it’s fabulous! Very readable, very personal (which makes it wonderfully entertaining to read) but packed with content, absolutely packed with information. I liked how I felt I didn’t need to read it start to finish, the reader can skip around as need be and read or re-read sections. It is also wonderfully shame free-very human, while still not letting stepmom off the hook in terms of doing her part … As a social worker I am also mindful of the need to restore a sense of hope in my clients, this book does that without the cheesy claims of having all the answers that so many self help books do-the hope it offers is real, and there is real content to help her look at her own behavior without beating herself up in the process.
- Patti Kelley Criswell, author of five books including Friends, Making Them and Keeping Them