Five Phrases Stepmoms Need at the Tip of Their Tongues

27 10 2008

1) I’m sorry. Admitting you’re only human can make a huge impact on your stepkids. Of course, this is also an extremely handy phrase to use with your husband from time to time.  

2) I don’t know, but I’ll find out. If you’ve got a challenging stepfamily dynamic happening in your home that you can’t seem to work out, it’s time to pick up your Sherlock Holmes hat and cloak. Find out which people and resources can help.

3) It is what it is. As author Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “When people say ‘Let it go,’ what they really mean is ‘Get over it,’ and that’s not a helpful thing to say. It’s not a matter of letting go – you would if you could. Instead of ‘Let it go,’ we should probably say, ‘Let it be’; this recognizes that the mind won’t let go and the problem may not go away, and it allows you to form a healthier relationship with what’s bothering you.”

4) I’m going out with my girlfriends. Don’t be afraid to keep doing the things you love. Just because you’re in a relationship with a guy who has kids doesn’t mean that you should give up everything that makes you feel like you. Balance your family time with moments spent with your friends, your parents and siblings or all by yourself.

5) I love you. When partners are confident in their relationship, they can weather so much more than when there is doubt. Tell your partner you love him so he doesn’t have to guess. Ask him to do the same for you.

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