The Doctor Is In: Dr. Jan Hoistad

27 10 2008

Dr. Jan Hoistad is the author of Big Picture Partnering: 16 Weeks to a Rock-Solid Relationship and Living Your Dreams Together: Conversation Cards for Couples. She helps couples work together to create the life of their dreams. If you’re in Minnesota, check out her upcoming workshops for couples. Find out more about Dr. Jan at

Here’s an exercise to do with your partner from Living Your Dreams Together that Dr. Jan says can help you create more of what you want in life and from each other. Sit down with a glass of wine, a delicious appetizer, and the deck of 117 Conversation Cards available on Dr. Jan’s website to have a fun discussion about what your partner most likes, dislikes and cares about. Topics cover work, family, fun, friends, money, home, travel, caring and spirit. Here are some of the questions to get you started.

  • Of all of my friends, which ones do you most enjoy spending time with? Which ones would you rather we didn’t spend time with as a couple?
  • Which of the following do you like to do? Which would you rather we hire out if we can afford it? Gardening, landscaping, housecleaning, snow shoveling, mowing the lawn, home maintenance and repair, making home improvements, or add your own here.
  • How would you feel about taking a trip with one or both of my parents? With any of my siblings?
  • Is there anyone in your family I need to be warned about? Who? In what way do I need to be careful around them?
  • Do you feel that each of us is saving enough each month for retirement?
  • In volunteering your time, what forms of service do you feel inspired to offer? What organizations do you feel prompted to work for?
  • What one book on religion or spirituality would you most like me to read?
  • If you didn’t have to work to earn money, what would you do with your time instead?
  • What’s the one small thing I can do on a regular basis – and that I don’t do regularly now – that would most make you feel cared for?



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