Conversation Starters

28 10 2008

This stepmom thing is no easy task we’ve signed ourselves up for. Whether you’re new to it or have lived in your stepfamily for decades, stepmotherhood takes constant attention. People change, custody is renegotiated, children grow up, new children are introduced to the family. Each transition requires a fresh look at the dynamics within your household as we are all constantly growing and changing. And with each passing year you must continue to re-focus your intention to create a happy, peaceful blended family.

¬†Learning how to becoming a stepmom is not something that you do once and then poof! you’re finished. Instead, just like a marriage, you must pay attention to it as the years pass, making sure that you are on the path you intended with your stepchildren and your spouse.

Take a few moments to answer the following questions. Better yet, use them to start a discussion with your partner.

1. How have your stepchildren changed since you met them?

2. How has your relationship with each of them evolved?

3. What have you done with your stepchildren that you are most proud of?

4. What aspects of your relationships with your stepkids would you like to work on?

5. Check in with your partner. Compared to a year ago, how is your partnership more solid?

6. Are you harboring any resentment toward your partner over something that happened within the past year? Have you talked about it? Can you discuss it now?

7. Do you think your stepfamily is stronger now than it was a year ago?

8. How do you want your home and your relationships to feel a year from now?

9. Have you become a more flexible stepmother?

10. Think back to when you were a child. Would you have liked a stepmom like you?

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