S.M.A.C.K.s for Stepmoms: Just You And Me

18 11 2008

I received a great question from a reader: Can you talk about your spouse’s ex too much with your partner? My response? YES. The ex can easily become the focal point of your new marriage if you’re not careful – especially if there is a lot of tension between the households, a court battle, issues over money, etc. etc. etc. I will do a bigger post on this topic in the near future, but for now remember this: Though it might feel like there is another woman in your marriage, there is only you and your husband. That’s it. No one else can come between you. No one else is in your relationship with each other. Sure, the ex and the kids pull on that bond and test your strength, but at the end of the day your marriage is between you and him. If you find yourself talking about the ex and her actions each day, then consciously decide to only discuss the ex and any issues pertaining to her once a week.

Visit www.smackyourinnercritic.com for more about how to smackdown your Inner Critic.

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2 responses

18 11 2008
Erin

Money is a huge thing between our houses. We/he pays her several hundred dollars above and beyond child support every two weeks and it’s frustrating. She’ll promise the kids a new thing (toy, coat, clothes, etc.) and then hold out her hand in front of my husband and/or me to get the money for it — In front of the kids!!!

I tell my husband he’s the only person I can vent to about it, but I also see some error in that, too. He’s stuck between a rock and a hard place.

25 11 2008
Can romance last? « Becoming A Stepmom

[…] breaks from talking about stressful topics. I mentioned this briefly in a post last week: Don’t let talking about the ex consume you and your partner. If you find […]

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