Mother’s Day Prep

22 04 2009

All right. We know it’s coming. Mother’s Day is Sunday, May 10. So instead of waiting until the last minute, let’s get some ideas flowing ladies about how we’re going to spend the day. The goal, of course, is to avoid hurt feelings. Here are a few ideas:

  • Remind your husband that mother’s day is approaching and you would like him to get you a card to celebrate the great job you’ve done stepmothering his children for the past year.
  • Plan to be out of the house doing something you love. I always love a good massage, so that’s on the books for me!
  • Make a lunch or cocktails date with your stepmom girlfriends.
  • Celebrate your own mother with a visit to her house.
  • Ignore the day completely and throw your own special stepmom day.

So how do you plan to spend the day? Please submit your traditions in case the rest of us what to try something new! And I hope you will, at the very least, pat yourself on the back on Mother’s Day for a job well done. Being a stepmother is not the easiest road to walk and you deserve major kudos!



6 responses

22 04 2009
Diane/Mama J

First of all, I ditto two suggestions in the post: how wonderful it is to plan something special for yourself that day, particularly something that takes you out of the house, AND if your own mother or mother-in-law are around, do something special for her/them.

Our stepfamily feels a little different now that my stepkids live on their own and I have a nine-year-old daughter growing up in my house. I am mentally prepared that my stepkids might do absolutely nothing to recognize this day. I might feel emotionally torn about it on the actual day or later, but I do need for them, at 22 and 21, to figure out my place in their lives and I know that they sort it out differently every year.

A girls’ tradition we tried for a few years was that my mother-in-law, my stepdaughter and I would go out for brunch. We could tell my stepdaughter was doing a bit of going through the motions, so that only lasted a few years. You have to do what feels sincere, regardless of which side of this fence you sit!

23 04 2009

Thanks so much for posting this reminder. I read another reminder like this recently and suddenly knew the smartest thing to do would be to just go ahead and plan something for my own special day on May 10th. My stepkids and their dad will probably end up getting cards or perhaps more but now I know that whatever they do will be something I’ll be happy and grateful for, because I’m not waiting on them to fulfill ALL my hopes and dreams for a glorious Mother’s Day! I’m taking care of that and whatever they do will be icing on the cake. It feels win-win and now I’m wholly excited about, rather than partially dreading, the day.

1 05 2009
The Smirking Cat

I don’t have any bad feelings about Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is such a commercialized, over-sentimentalized pink-and-flowers day that I prefer to take another day to celebrate my relationship with my stepkids.

6 05 2009
International Party Girl

My husband always does an outstanding job of celebrating Mother’s day for me. He really makes sure that I know he appreciates me.

My stepdaughter is only 11. Sometimes she sends a card sometimes not.
But my husband makes sure I feel special.

11 08 2009

I disagree with stepmother’s that think they should celebrate Mother’s Day unless they are the ONLY mother figure in the child’s life. I am not a stepmother, but I am a mother. I know how difficult it is to be pregnant, give birth and raise a small child. For a stepmother, who has no kids of her own, to demand status of “mother” is selfish and greedy. The stepmothers that I know complain every time it is their turn to have the kids which is usually only once every other week. Then she complains how annoying the kids are and goes off shopping or locks herself in her room to watch TV or paint her nails. Then, come Mother’s Day (when the kids are with their MOTHER, by the way) shows off her Mother’s Day gift from her husband and gets mad when no one says “Happy Mother’s Day” to her. I agree with the other comment that you can make your own day but don’t steal the one day that real mothers get for the unconditional love and sacrifices we have made for our children.

15 05 2012

I am a step mother and have no children of my own by choice. But let me say, you don’t have to give birth to be a mom and giving birth does not make you a mom. I know plenty of women who have given birth and are the most miserable excuses for a “mom” that I have ever seen. Yes, being pregnant and giving birth is difficult and I pat those women on the back but being a mom is so much more then that.

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