A Stepmom’s Inner Critic

11 05 2009

There are few things more dangerous to a stepmom’s mental health than a loud and damning Inner Critic. I don’t know about you but sometimes all the “shoulds” about how I’m “supposed” to be that I beat myself up with are enough to drive a good woman to drink. According to the voice inside my head I’m supposed to be more maternal to my stepkids, nicer, more bonded with them. I’m supposed to have a cleaner house and a better relationship with my husband’s ex. I’m not supposed to get tired, be jealous or angry. I’m certainly not supposed to snap at my stepkids because I am supposed to make this family work!

Sometimes I really need to tell that Inner Critic to shut the hell up. Know what I mean? I’ve written several pieces for this blog on the art of smacking down the Inner Critic. You can check them out by clicking on the S.M.A.C.K.s for Stepmoms category on the right hand side of this page. I’ve also written a new book with a friend of mine called S.M.A.C.K. Your Inner Critic: Knock out your doubt and live the life of your dreams.My agent sent it out to publishers on Friday! So I have a favor to ask, m’ladies! Please visit our blog at www.smackyourinnercritic.comand if you feel called to make a comment on one of our posts, I’d be deeply grateful! Drop me a line at becomingastepmom (at) gmail.com to let me know you commented and I’ll send a free, signed copy of my book A Career Girl’s Guide to Becoming a Stepmom to the person who writes the 25th comment we get starting now! Many, many thanks!

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3 responses

11 05 2009
Rachel

Man I know exactly how you feel. Even worse some days. I wonder if our purpose being a step mom is just to be a ladder for ” them ” meaning the husband and the ex to climb on. I really need to hear more from you.

11 05 2009
marâtre joyeuse

You might not know it, but you wrote this post just for me! I have this voice inside of me I call “The Monster”. Thank you si much!

22 05 2009
Ruth

I have a serious bf at a distance, and have not yet met his kids (he’s met mine). My kids are older than his. I struggle already with feeling envious of the easier time his kids have in life, particularly one who loves the same things as one of my kids, but is better at them. I am so glad that our kids will not have to blend together. But I beat myself up regularly for not being able to set aside my jealousies on behalf of my kids who did not have such a wonderful, involved father, and who struggled far more. I share this with him, and he says it’s normal, and it would be weird if I didn’t feel that way. I still beat myself up! I really, really don’t want this to get in the way of a future relationship.

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