Guest Post: I’m a Stepmom, Too

25 01 2011

A few years ago at tradeshow, I was talking with a young woman at the booth next to mine. Just a casual conversation between strangers – a friendly back-and-forth.

She mentioned that it was her one year anniversary that week. I offered congratualtions and asked her if she was enjoying married life. Her reply? “I’m a stepmom.”

That’s it. That’s all she said.

I waited.

And waited.

Then I said, “I’m a stepmom too.”

More silence.

Then I said, “It’s ok if you don’t love the kids.”

She got tears in her eyes and thanked me. She said she felt like there was something wrong with her. I assured her there was not.

We talked for a long time that day. I think I helped her understand that she was not alone, she wasn’t evil, she was really quite normal. I encouraged her to befriend other stepmoms, because her friends who were birth moms would not – could not – fully empathize and offer the kind of support she needed. The trade show ended. We hugged goodbye. I never saw her again.

But I learned a valuable lesson that day. When you meet a stranger and learn that she’s a stepmom, speak up. Offer support and understanding. We need each other.

Carrie, the author of this post is a longtime reader of my blog. What a treat to run such a great story! Thank you Carrie. We do need each other.



3 responses

26 01 2011

I recently found your blog and it has been a blessing to read that I am not alone in how I feel regarding being a Stepmother. This post especially hit home because you feel like no one understands (and most of the time they don’t) how you feel and what you have to deal with. Thank you!

10 02 2011
Ann Onny Mouse

Thank you, thank you, thank you. All I can say is thank you. Words cannot express…I just thank you for this post and all you do.

3 07 2012

I didn’t know you were back to blogging… i have missed reading your posts and drawing strength from them. I came searching today for some strength as my relationship is soo strained at this point that it scares me that we are not going to pull through it and the sad part is that i truly love my spouse.

My spouse doesn’t get it… sometimes i don’t feel like anyone gets it and i am usually left with carrying around an overwhelming amount of guilt. I needed to read this post, as simple as it is… it is nice to know i am not alone.

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