Stepfamily Love Maintenance

25 02 2012

In the last week I’ve received 10 emails from women whose relationships with their partners are in trouble. Sadly, I can’t say that this is uncommon. Most of us know that the divorce rate in the U.S. hovers around 50%. For every re-marriage one has, the divorce rate goes up. So second marriages are in greater danger. Third marriages in even greater peril, etc. If one or more partners has children from a previous marriage the divorce rate spikes to 75%. There is very controversial research that says if a brand new stepmother enters a family with stepdaughters ages 12 to 17, the divorce rates shoots up to 99%. This research does not include families in which the stepmother entered the family when the children are young.

Scary numbers, right?

In a stepfamily, the couple is the weakest link. I’ve written about that before and the research remains the same. The couple has had the least amount of time together and if push comes to shove, the blood relationships are the strongest.

So here’s my question: What kind of preventative maintenance do you and your spouse do to keep your marriage strong? A stepmother I talked with recently said she and her husband picked up the book 365 Nights, which is about a couple who decided to make love every night for a year. They made it to seven months (she got pregnant and had terrible morning sickness).

Some couples plan vacations together. Some go on date nights every week.

What do you do?